Nora Roberts

Something woke me this morning...actually it was exactly 11:09 pm. Usually when I wake it might be due to a low blood sugar. But tonight it wasn't that....I tossed and turned for a while before giving in and picking up my current read--Nora Robert's Morrigan's Cross. I finished the book...it sure ended unexpectedly...I expected the "big" fight to happen but she's a smart cookie and leaves us hanging for another book. Despite that, it ended well enough and you can be sure I'll be in line to buy the next book in the series this October Dance of the Gods.

Since I am typing this around 3 a.m. (because I still can't seem to sleep), I had to look up the spelling of the book's name. What better website to check but Nora's very own? There is a photo of her tossing out the first pitch at a ballgame earlier this year and she looks nothing like her jacket covers.

It's Not Geometry--It's Volleyball

Part of the reason I’m tired all the time is thanks to my daughter’s schedule. She is a freshman this year and seems to be involved in everything. Marching band alone is quite the time commitment. I don’t know how she does it! They do have one hour each day during school, and 3 hours each Monday evening from 6 – 9. Every other week they also have a practice on Wednesday from 6 – 9 p.m. THEN she made the JV volleyball team….they practice every day after school from 3 – 5. Meets tend to be Tuesday’s and Thursday’s beginning at 5:30 and because they are required to support the Varsity squad…she rarely gets home before 9:15 p.m. Some weeks there is a meet on Saturday morning as well. And she is in 4H…this year she is an officer which adds one additional meeting (besides the regular club meeting). Now. Do I need to go to all of her games? No. Do I need to go to each performance for marching band? No. Do I need to be a 4H leader? No. But I do—my parents rarely supported me with my school activities (just 4H) and I don’t want that for my daughter.

Combine that with a VERY rambunctious 2-year-old and you begin to understand. Add to that a commute to work that is 35-40 minutes in the morning and 45 – 60 minutes at night coming home…..I’m tired. Excited at times, but tired. By the end of the week, I have no energy for anything domestic.

Tonight they have a meet at home which is against three other teams. One team showed up unexpectedly (it was supposed to be a triangular meet—not a quad), so they shortened the games to 21 and are only playing 2 games against each team. It’s 8:29 pm as I type my rough draft (to copy and paste into my blog when I get home.) I need to continue making wise use of my time at these many activities.

So in the meantime…until I work this out, I’ll continue taking my vitamins, getting as much rest as I can and continue to blog my frustrations until they all work themselves out.

p.s. Her team tied for first place! It was worth it!

Hump Day

What a difference a day can make! Although my day was hectic, it didn't have the stress and drama yesterday did. Whew! I read it as a sign, but in the mailroom, on the bulletin board was a poster about depression....I answered "yes" to many of the questions...perhaps I take my OB-GYN up on her recommendation I try some meds.

We were able to get in a walk this evening after supper and I'm hoping the fresh air and extra bit of exercise will help me sleep the night through. My youngest (2 1/2) has come to expect a walk to the park after supper. Not only is it getting colder, but it is also getting darker earlier...we'll have to come up with something creative for when the Wisconsin weather sets in. It was 51 degress tonight (one of those clear, crisp evenings)...not bad when you're walking and keeping yourself warm...but for her sitting in a stroller...brrrr.

I read a post earlier today from Tamara (My Pre-Midlife Crisis) who listed 25 accomplishments for the past year. It was very motivational for her to see how much she had done in 12 months time. I'm thinking I'll need to do it as well....but I'm nervous because I don't think I've accomplished that much. This weekend...when I have more time.

Procrastination is one of my things to get better at. The weekend will be here before I know it!

Apology Not Accepted

Did you ever have one of those days when anything that could happen, did? Problem after problem surfaces, one employee is out sick, another is running late due to a court appointment.... Today has been one of those days for me. I spent the entire morning troubleshooting problems that surfaced (and unfortunately, one employee was responsible for all of them) when she calls on the phone to let me know she was running late....I guess I had too many *sighs* over the phone but when she got to the office, she accused me of being rude to her and I didn't have to like her but I could afford a simple professional courtesy, blah blah blah. She went off on me and it took me totally off guard. I had come to her to apologize for sounding so scatter-brained over the phone and she blasted me for everything under the sun. BLAM - I get it from all directions. (OK, that she was in court getting a divorce probably played a big factor in her anger...and lucky me for getting the brunt of it!)

I'm a big girl, I can take it. I would have appreciated it if the entire cube farm had not heard her ripping me a new one....but it just wasn't what I needed--today or any other day.

So now if I go back and mention the 4 corrections I processed for her this morning--she'll look at it as retaliation....I can't win!

Got a new pedometer yesterday in the mail. By the same company as the one I had for years but recently broke. I'm happy it came because I'm obsessive about knowing how many steps I've walked on a given day....lately it isn't enough. :-)

After work I need to run home to change--my oldest has a volleyball tournament....another night of running. I'll close today with a quote I found today on Beliefnet.com: "When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail." -Abraham Maslow

Measurements

Just measured myself and THAT was a wake up call. Sort of like seeing yourself in the 360 degree mirror with a bathing suit wake-up call. I new my ass was big but HOLY SMOKES! I recorded it in my handy spreadsheet and will measure myself from time-to-time.

New Beginnings

Today is my husband's 41st birthday....and I'm the one bumming and depressed. I took the day off from work by calling in sick and, I decided that I need the day to get better--mentally. Not to say that Corey has to be depressed because he is another year older, but don't we all cringe as another birthday approaches? So not only do I go inward and depressed when my birthday rolls around in March, but also when his birthday rolls around 6 months later.

I've attempted to start a written diary too many times to count over the years, so perhaps having an online blog will be different and allow me the freedom to journal the things that keep me up at night and cause me to gain 25 pounds in the last 1 1/2 years and over 50 pounds in the last ten years.

This morning was a treat. I can't remember the last time where I got to watch the Today show, read the newspaper and enjoy an entire pot of coffee doing things I really enjoy. Drove the oldest daughter to school, did a bit of grocery shopping, started laundry and generally relaxed. One of the segments on the Today show was how fatigue can cause weight gain. I don't sleep well and gee, I've gained a boatload of weight.

How does one get motivated enough to make a difference with their eating and exercise habits AND stay at it long enough to see it all melt off? I fluctuate between not giving a rip to caring, but not enough to watch what I eat for more than a day or so. I'm at my all-time heaviest (other than being pregnant) and it really is noticeable. My size 18 pants are too tight, my chin has doubled, my face is puffy and my thighs rub. (OK my thighs have always rubbed!) but I'm really noticing it now when I walk. Like my diabetes, I have to take it a day at a time. Perhaps this blog will make me more accountable to my myself. It seems like nothing else has done the trick lately and I feel like I've really let myself go to hell.

So today is the first day of my crisis intervention. Time to measure myself, take stock and make changes. Stay posted!